INSENSITIVITY OR IGNORANCE?

The level of sensitivity you show someone in any given situation is largely contigent upon your life experiences.

I recently had a conversation with someone who, with a boldness worn proudly, shared an utter distain for people with unsightly teeth.

The Argument: They look at themselves everyday, so with all the resources available (i.e. a variety of toothpastes, cleansers, whiteners, dental professionals) why don't they just fix the problem?!

My Counter-Argument: If seemingly obvious solutions are so readily available, then perhaps the problem is deeper than meets the eye... or perhaps just your eye.

I firmly believe that most people want to (and will) present themselves publicly in the best manner possible. Now, there are your exceptions who truly don't care much. But we're going to ignore them for now. Those people who do care about there public appearance, whether physically, professionally, or even emotionally, do all they can to offer the best presentation. So that person with stained teeth, more than likely has attempted or is still working to solve the issue that so many people see as a quick fix. And having it called to their attention probably doesn't help any self-esteem issues that tend to inherently accompany those types of physical imperfections.

The guy with the "flawed" smile doesn't really want to hear advice from the guy flashing his pearly whites in a million dollar smile. The 20-year old girl with thinning hair doesn't want tips from the local Rapunzel. The young adult with adolescent-like acne isn't trying to hear that she should just drink more water. Basically, if both the problem and the solution seem equally obvious, more often than not, it's just not that simple. And people feel insulted when you approach them like a 20-second, quick fix, everyday maintenance advertisement. Especially when it's been an ongoing issue.

However, there are people who truly do empathize with another's plight. The defining difference, the fine line between insult and encouragement, is in the approach. Those people who really do know what it's like to struggle with glaring physical flaws, don't easily forget those feelings of insecurity. And out of that remembrance, they're able to approach people with respect, and ultimately the help and hope that they truly desire.

More times than I care to remember, I've offered unsolicited advice which stemmed solely from my limited observations. I'm learning that though most people mean well, they don't always come across well. And even some of the sharpest minds I know, haven't mastered the art of outwitting their tongues. We've got to learn to consider things from perspectives other than our own; and that in itself takes a commitment to exercising wisdom. In the meantime...

To those of us dishing it out: Imagine if you were on the other side of your view of another person's problem. What if you couldn't do anything about it? Let's try to be a bit more considerate. 

To those of us being served: Let's be more patient with those who probably mean well, but are insensitive due to ignorance.