I believe that the answer to this lies in the realm of relevance. My question would be this: "How important is your transparency to the situation at hand?" I think we've all suffered from TMI (too much information) moments, wherein someone may have been selling us on an idea and then took a turn toward TMI and lost credibility. Adversely, often in an attempt to cover (or not be too transparent), vital and relevant information is omitted from a necessary situation. The result? Well, you look like a liar or a hypocrite.
The key is to find a balance between the two. Do you remember that old Jim Carrey movie, "Liar Liar"? Yes, it was hiliarious, but I always wondered: Why did he have to tell EVERYTHING? He could have kept his mouth closed in some instances and still not been a liar. Not great for movie ratings, of course, but hopefully you understand my point. Ultimately, I believe that a life of transparency must walk hand in hand with a life of wisdom in order to achieve success. You can't deny who you are, and you shouldn't have to. But who you are in all your fullness at home may not translate well to who you should be at work. Your understanding of this difference could have major affects on your "success life".
What do you think?
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
It Takes More Than Talent...
This UK Singer/Songwriter is a great example of how it takes more than mere vocal ability to be an artist! I first saw the clip of rising star Jessica Cornish (better known as Jessie J) singing "Mamma Knows Best" a few years ago, and her talent as a singer is undeniable. Still, while she wowed me with her range, strength, and raw delivery, her actual artistry as it relates to image and branding could have easily gone in one of many directions. Her first major single and video, "Do It Like A Dude", is definitely a visual match for the power and grit behind her voice. Jessie has already made a substantial mark on the industry behind the scenes, writing for Justin Timberlake, Alicia Keys, and Chris Brown. She co-wrote the Miley Cyrus hit "Party in the USA" and Timberlake has hailed her as "the best singer in the world right now." While the peformance career that will follow remains to be seen, her step into the spotlight is certainly not relying on talent alone for support!
Food for thought; in the meantime, enjoy the appetizers...
Watch "Mamma Knows Best"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=TswOLHUQFPk
Watch "Do It Like A Dude"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=pOf3kYtwASo
The New Standard in Fashion..."Keep It Dope!"
If you want to be in tune with the hottest, most relevant fashion trends of our time, I'd like to take a moment to introduce you to the best place I know on the web for keeping up with the ever-evolving climate of the Fashion World. Driven by the simple mantra, "Keep it Dope", Sir Christopher Milan has dared to take us on a journey "Inside a Gentleman's Mind". And trust me, his thoughts on what's dope are quickly becoming the go-to standard! From the runway to the racks, Sir Milan has something for everyone, not limiting his style eye to the only the fly and famous. And he believes that you totally set your own style standard...he's just here to offer a little inspiration assistance! Milan is definitely inspiring men and women alike to take their style to new levels of relevance and risk. And, just for the men, he has introduced "The Gentleman's Code", a true gentleman's guide to fashion, chivalry, and ultimately keeping it dope!Be sure to check him out at http://www.gentlemansmind.blogspot.com/ and join his Facebook group, Inside a Gentlemans Mind!
Keep doing your thing, Chris!!!
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Action Magazine
Check out the lastest issue of Action Magazine!
http://www.actionmagazine.org/
This edition features and exclusive interview with Keeland Ellis of BET's hit series, "The Game", (my article) "Rooted in Faith" with Monalisa Brown, and new Top 25 List and more!
Keep up the great work Kenya Nalls! Much Love and Support!!!
http://www.actionmagazine.org/
This edition features and exclusive interview with Keeland Ellis of BET's hit series, "The Game", (my article) "Rooted in Faith" with Monalisa Brown, and new Top 25 List and more!
Keep up the great work Kenya Nalls! Much Love and Support!!!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Food For Thought: Favor and Marriage
Proverbs 18:22
He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.
DEFINING MOMENT:
A friend once posed a question to me about marriage:
“Doesn’t the bible say that a man who finds a wife finds a good thing?” she asked. “Well, I’ve seen a lot of married men, but I wouldn’t call their wives ‘good things’ -- and neither do they!”
My friend raised an interesting point, and I’m glad she asked me the question. She presented what seem to be two conflicting truths: (1) The Word of God, which is entirely true, and (2) the reality of the absence of favor in many marriages. As I sought God’s Word for the appropriate answer, the Holy Spirit taught me a very valuable lesson. We cannot rely on dictionary definitions for things that God has clearly defined in His word. This was a very powerful learning moment for me as a student of the bible, for I’m also a student of the English language. I love learning new words and I’m a strong advocate for proper word usage as it relates to definition. I also believe that, when studying the bible, it is good to keep a dictionary handy. Nevertheless, God’s word is the ultimate reference.
Merriam-Webster defines a wife as the woman to whom a man is married, the female partner in marriage. This definition is certainly globally accepted and leaves little need for interpretation. Here’s where the difference comes in. God’s promise of favor in Proverbs 18:22 doesn’t apply to men who find women and marry them; it’s for men who find wives and marry them. The fact that he must find a wife, implies that a woman must already be a wife before the man finds her. This principle completely defies our dictionary definition. It means that there are specific characteristics that a woman must possess to qualify as a wife. According to the Word of God, a woman doesn’t become a wife by marrying; she must be a wife before she marries.
Fortunately, our Heavenly Father doesn’t leave us without a guide. Proverbs 31:10-31 gives a profoundly detailed description of all that God designed Woman to be. First of all, she is trustworthy and of noble character. Being of noble character suggests that she displays the fruit of God’s spirit, walking in the very image of God. These characteristics spill over into all her relationships. Her husband has full confidence in her and therefore, lacks nothing of value. Her very existence enriches his life. Each day, she adds to him, bringing him good, not harm. God built into every woman strong work ethic so that she may adequately care for her children and make necessary provisions for her household. God intended for all women to be wise. This wisdom is evident in every aspect of her life from relationships to finances. She speaks with wisdom and gives wise instruction. Because she has the heart of God, she is generous and considerate of those less fortunate. Because she is aware of her position of royalty in God’s Kingdom, she takes pride in her appearance. Her beauty, confidence, and cheerfulness brings respect to her husband and blessings to her children. This outline is God’s will for Woman. It makes her the kind of woman that brings favor to her husband and all her relationships. Putting Him above all things brings her honor and causes the favor that surrounds her life to be contagious. If you are a wife by the world’s definition and have failed to see the favor of God in your marriage, I encourage you to mirror yourself with God’s definition. His promises are yea and amen, but He is only obligated to the principles according to His own word.
MAN'S BEST FRIEND:
Men, your role in activating this particular realm of favor is to first seek God for a wife by His standards. The reason he has given such an explicit blueprint is because he has entrusted you with the role of “the seeker” and has given you the final say so. While women are becoming the wives that God intended, men have the responsibility and privilege of choosing the right women. In God’s original plans for courtship and marriage, the man was given the option to choose who he thought was most suitable for him. After creating the entire world, Heaven and Earth, God declared that everything He made was “very good”. The first time He acknowledged a deficiency was in Genesis 2:18.
Then the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone, I will make him a helper comparable to him (NJKV).
When many people give account of this part of the Creation story, they often jump ahead to how God put Adam into a deep sleep, took a rib and made a woman, Eve. However, God gave man a much more active role in the process. Immediately after God recognized Adam’s state of aloneness, He formed and brought before him every kind of living creature to see what he would call them. Whatever Adam called it, that was its name; but for Adam, none was found suitable or complementary to him. Then came the deep sleep. God formed woman from Adam’s own flesh, and still brought her before him to make a choice. He found her comparable and called her Woman.
I think it’s amazing how instrumental the Lord allows us to be in the lives that He gave us. Even before the entrance of sin, God allowed us the privilege of choice, and at that point the only choices were between very good and very good. This means that what we like, our preferences and personal favorites matter to him and He has made every provision for us to obtain our heart’s desires. This right to choose is also why He gives such explicit instruction and example. Ladies, during the time while men are seeking, you should be waiting and being the virtuous woman that God designed you to be for the man He created you for. Understanding God’s will and purpose for you as a woman, shows you who you are and what you look like in His eyes. This is also how you should look to the man who chooses you. When men come seeking, be mindful of what they call you. Words like “catty”, “bitch”, “chick” and “shrew” have already been assigned; it was decided from the beginning that they are not suitable for women. Men, your blueprint is outlined in Proverbs 31, and God has permitted you to combine His perfect will with your personal preference. With that formula, how could you go wrong? After you have found your wife, the promise of favor is yours, but you must love her as God has commanded. Pray that she grows and be strengthened in the characteristics that qualified her in the first place (Ephesians 5:25-33). Love her as Christ loved the church. Then enjoy the favor.
"I've Seen Death, and It's Beautiful..."
(Written August 2009)
I prayed for death last night. It’s the second time in my life I’d ever done so. The first time was several years ago when I was in college. Things weren’t going well. I was broken-hearted over a failed relationship. I was unfulfilled in my course work. With only 12 cents to my name, I was completely broke. I didn’t know where my life was going, and quite honestly, I didn’t care anymore. And though I was saved and had relationship with God, depression was quickly closing in on me.
“Lord, make it better!” I cried out in desperation. “Make it better or take my life. I know that I’ll go to heaven. I don’t really want to die, but I don’t want to keeping living like this either.”
Sobbing from my eyes and crying from my soul, I felt utterly hopeless. Still, a part of me knew that things might get better if I kept going. I wanted better; I just couldn’t go anymore.
God is so faithful. He heard me and helped me, even carried me. And I made it through. But this time was different.
_______________________________________
You know, Satan can and will pervert anything. Murder, suicide, fatal illnesses, untimely accidents, horror films. All perversions of death. Corruptions of God’s intentions.
But I’ve seen death, and it’s beautiful . . .
I laid in bed, thinking of all I’d lost: my job, my church family, friends, health, money, my home, my comfort. My daughter. Death looked so appealing. Since I’ve been grieving, I communicate openly how I feel with the people I trust. When I feel angry or sad or insane or guilty, I say so. I believe that if I really felt suicidal, I’d relay that as well. (I think.) But I’m not depressed, and have no plans of suicide. But pure death? Oh, I longed for it.
Before, when I asked such a thing of God, it was out of fear and doubt. I hoped things would get better, but I wasn’t completely sure that they would. I was afraid to die, but hated my existence so much that I was willing to face it. But no, this time I knew exactly what I was asking for. I knew God could and probably would bring me through this present hardship better, stronger, more mature. When I put in my request, I knew that an amazing level of greatness and joy most likely awaited me on the other side of this trial. Still, I pondered:
“What manner of greatness on earth can outdo even a portion of Heaven?! Heaven trumps ANYTHING going on down here on earth; I don‘t care how good it is.”
“I’m going anyway. In the scope of eternity, what difference does it make to be a little early? Yes, this is exactly what I want.”
The more I mulled it over, the more I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. A knowing smile took control of my face.
“Yes, Heaven.” The perpetual glory of Almighty God. Jesus Himself. Angels crying “Holy!”. Never-ending praise, exaltation, and worship. Perfection. My grandparents. My baby girl.
For a moment, I thought of my own parents. I knew they would hurt when I left. Truly, I knew and understood. But the peace of knowing that I, too, died beautifully, along with their own faith in God would help them through it. Yes, the loss would hurt; they would miss me terribly. But 26 years of memories is a lot to hold on to and be grateful for. The same peace that I was feeling in those moments would give them comfort as well. My mind went back to heaven.
“I’ve seen death, and it’s beautiful.” Those words resonated in my mind. I was calmly elated. My breathing slowed. An eerily wonderful and completely indescribable sensation came over me and seemed swallow me whole. I entered into a place beyond peace, beyond joy, beyond awe and wonder. I thought, “God heard me and He’s granting my request!” I was dying and it was perfect.
I continued to lie there, still and peaceful. “This really is beautiful,” I thought, “nothing else matters.”
Then I began to hear the Holy Spirit:
“This is why I ask the same thing of you that you’re asking of Me.”
“Huh?”
“I want you to die just as much as you want to die. ‘Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints’ (Psa. 116:15).”
“Yes, I know. It’s beautiful.”
“ ‘Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it’ (Matthew 10:39). Death is your key to abundant life (John 10:10), both on earth and in heaven. Sacrifice yourself, your life to Me. ”
All at once, I began to understand His words.
“What? NOOOOO!!! That isn’t what I meant! I want a physical, earthly, non-metaphorical death! I want Heaven!”
Imagine my disappointment when I instinctively knew that I would wake up the following morning. But it was too late; it had already become too clear. I wouldn’t die today, at least not in the way that I’d hoped. But for a moment, I had seen death through God’s eyes, through His will. And in that glimpse, I saw how I had to continue to live. Nothing matters in death. Past hurts and disappointments, joys and good times don’t mean much, if anything. Both failure and success fall into perspective. Letting go of all things past is easy, and there is no worry about the future. When God asks His people to become living sacrifices (Rom. 12:1), it’s because this is how He wants us to live. Dying daily. Trusting, resting completely in Him. Our abundant lives please God.
After I lost the closest person in the world to me to death, I began to toil and even now continue to work through it, though I told myself that I wouldn’t die here, too. But God has shown me that I can, and it’s okay. It’s actually necessary, but on His terms. I trust Him.
I’ve seen death and it is beautiful.
I prayed for death last night. It’s the second time in my life I’d ever done so. The first time was several years ago when I was in college. Things weren’t going well. I was broken-hearted over a failed relationship. I was unfulfilled in my course work. With only 12 cents to my name, I was completely broke. I didn’t know where my life was going, and quite honestly, I didn’t care anymore. And though I was saved and had relationship with God, depression was quickly closing in on me.
“Lord, make it better!” I cried out in desperation. “Make it better or take my life. I know that I’ll go to heaven. I don’t really want to die, but I don’t want to keeping living like this either.”
Sobbing from my eyes and crying from my soul, I felt utterly hopeless. Still, a part of me knew that things might get better if I kept going. I wanted better; I just couldn’t go anymore.
God is so faithful. He heard me and helped me, even carried me. And I made it through. But this time was different.
_______________________________________
You know, Satan can and will pervert anything. Murder, suicide, fatal illnesses, untimely accidents, horror films. All perversions of death. Corruptions of God’s intentions.
But I’ve seen death, and it’s beautiful . . .
I laid in bed, thinking of all I’d lost: my job, my church family, friends, health, money, my home, my comfort. My daughter. Death looked so appealing. Since I’ve been grieving, I communicate openly how I feel with the people I trust. When I feel angry or sad or insane or guilty, I say so. I believe that if I really felt suicidal, I’d relay that as well. (I think.) But I’m not depressed, and have no plans of suicide. But pure death? Oh, I longed for it.
Before, when I asked such a thing of God, it was out of fear and doubt. I hoped things would get better, but I wasn’t completely sure that they would. I was afraid to die, but hated my existence so much that I was willing to face it. But no, this time I knew exactly what I was asking for. I knew God could and probably would bring me through this present hardship better, stronger, more mature. When I put in my request, I knew that an amazing level of greatness and joy most likely awaited me on the other side of this trial. Still, I pondered:
“What manner of greatness on earth can outdo even a portion of Heaven?! Heaven trumps ANYTHING going on down here on earth; I don‘t care how good it is.”
“I’m going anyway. In the scope of eternity, what difference does it make to be a little early? Yes, this is exactly what I want.”
The more I mulled it over, the more I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. A knowing smile took control of my face.
“Yes, Heaven.” The perpetual glory of Almighty God. Jesus Himself. Angels crying “Holy!”. Never-ending praise, exaltation, and worship. Perfection. My grandparents. My baby girl.
For a moment, I thought of my own parents. I knew they would hurt when I left. Truly, I knew and understood. But the peace of knowing that I, too, died beautifully, along with their own faith in God would help them through it. Yes, the loss would hurt; they would miss me terribly. But 26 years of memories is a lot to hold on to and be grateful for. The same peace that I was feeling in those moments would give them comfort as well. My mind went back to heaven.
“I’ve seen death, and it’s beautiful.” Those words resonated in my mind. I was calmly elated. My breathing slowed. An eerily wonderful and completely indescribable sensation came over me and seemed swallow me whole. I entered into a place beyond peace, beyond joy, beyond awe and wonder. I thought, “God heard me and He’s granting my request!” I was dying and it was perfect.
I continued to lie there, still and peaceful. “This really is beautiful,” I thought, “nothing else matters.”
Then I began to hear the Holy Spirit:
“This is why I ask the same thing of you that you’re asking of Me.”
“Huh?”
“I want you to die just as much as you want to die. ‘Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints’ (Psa. 116:15).”
“Yes, I know. It’s beautiful.”
“ ‘Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it’ (Matthew 10:39). Death is your key to abundant life (John 10:10), both on earth and in heaven. Sacrifice yourself, your life to Me. ”
All at once, I began to understand His words.
“What? NOOOOO!!! That isn’t what I meant! I want a physical, earthly, non-metaphorical death! I want Heaven!”
Imagine my disappointment when I instinctively knew that I would wake up the following morning. But it was too late; it had already become too clear. I wouldn’t die today, at least not in the way that I’d hoped. But for a moment, I had seen death through God’s eyes, through His will. And in that glimpse, I saw how I had to continue to live. Nothing matters in death. Past hurts and disappointments, joys and good times don’t mean much, if anything. Both failure and success fall into perspective. Letting go of all things past is easy, and there is no worry about the future. When God asks His people to become living sacrifices (Rom. 12:1), it’s because this is how He wants us to live. Dying daily. Trusting, resting completely in Him. Our abundant lives please God.
After I lost the closest person in the world to me to death, I began to toil and even now continue to work through it, though I told myself that I wouldn’t die here, too. But God has shown me that I can, and it’s okay. It’s actually necessary, but on His terms. I trust Him.
I’ve seen death and it is beautiful.
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